Purpose?

It was around five in the morning when Karthi who appeared to be around 20 got down the train with a huge suitcase. Not having slept the previous night he stumbled through a crowd that hurried through the station. It has been a long time since Karthi felt the way he did now. He started walking on the stairs breathing heavily unable to lift the case as he thought about himself and why it felt so bad for what had happened. It neither was about something being lost nor about failing to do something. Yet he thought nobody could understand it and no one could have handled things as good as he did so far. As he got on the over-bridge connecting the two platforms he looked at the sight of the city so busy even at the time of morning. He left the case at a corner of the bridge and leaned on the barrier of that little bridge. He noticed the sign that said "Danger High Voltage". Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes as he leaned forward. Several thing flashed in his mind, moment of joy and despair, memories of his childhood the time that he considered to be the best of his life, the great friends he had made so far yet all of a sudden it seemed that all he felt was the emptiness that had been lasting for more than a month. The last month really did change who he was. He began to search for something everybody called as the "Meaning" or "Purpose" of life. His emptiness was related to that "Meaning". He opened his eyes for a second and inhaled as much as he could looking at the rails running long that appeared like a snake whose head or tail couldn't be seen just like what he thought as his endless disappointments. The people on the bridge tried to stop him and an old man who almost would be the age of Karthi's grandfather if he was alive yelled to stop him of what he was about to do. Yet Karthi did not heed to the crowd. Two men ran towards him as their pupils dilated at the sight. A sudden silence settled on the bridge and a few minutes later an ambulance screamed through the road rushing to the hospital. 


Karthi should have been in an ambulance by now like the one that he saw rushing if he had not made his choice at that instant. He took his suitcase from the corner and got down the stairs at the other end talking to himself "If life and death both meant nothing I would rather choose to live".

-fin-


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